22/08/12
(If bit's don't make sense in this post, It's because i've had to edit it quite a bit. I got carried away with some personal bits, & it became quite painful for me, so i thought it best to take bits out. Hope you understand)
It's weird to think that only a few years ago, I wasn't particularly bothered about being a dad, I'd always thought 'If i had kids then that's cool, it/they would be loved, But if not, so what'
That all changed in the space of one of the best & also one of the worst weeks of my life back in October 2010.
Libby was due for surgery to get to the bottom of a long running gynaecological issue, but on the morning of the op, the pre-op test shown she was pregnant so the procedure couldn't go ahead, When I got the phone call I was reduced to tears in the middle of our dining room floor which is not a pretty sight I can assure you. I don't think I've ever been as happy in my life as I was at that moment
Sadly this happiness was short lived, a week later I got a call to say Libby was bleeding heavily & was on her was to hospital. part of me didn't want to acknowledge what was really happening. I had a rare streak of optimism & I was determined not to let go of it. It was insanely frustrating waiting around the hospital, I had to wait in the waiting room, without any information. The A&E at Rotherham General is normally quite a colourful place, full of drunks & people who look like the should be on the Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer show, Thankfully it was relatively quite, which is good 'cause I might have killed someone.
After what seemed like an eternity, I was allowed to go through & see Libby, It's air to say she wasn't in a good way. Floods of tear & white as a ghost. & worst of all none the wiser as to what was happening.
Later that evening after being transferred onto the gynea ward of the hospital, the news was broken that Libby was miscarrying. we we're losing our little Eggburt (That was the name we'd given him/her because it was just a yolk sack when we found out about it)
It was incredibly hard for both of us (I assume it's the same for everyone) We'd only had a week to get used to what would been the start of a new future, a future that we really liked the look of. & in a heartbeat it had gone & replaced with a lot of hurt & anguish & millions of unanswered questions. If it hadn't been for the nurses on ward B11, it would have been a lot worse, & they will always be in our hearts
The main advice we got afterwards was that if we wanted a family, we had to get 'back in the saddle' But, after a year of trying, it wasn't happening. We eventually got to the bottom of why, when Libby went back to the hospital to have the op she should have had before this whole saga started.
The op & various internal scans discovered that one ovary was damaged & the other was 'a bit crap', because of how it was damaged, the doctor said it was similar to someone that had had untreated chlamydia, but both of us have never had any form of S.T.I. so it's kinda unexplained as to why it's like that
They also found Libby had Endometriosis, which they remove whist she was under the anaesthetic
It was a positive sign that one ovary was working even though it wasn't working as well as it should, but this could be remedied with medication called Clomid
This route was proving to be successful initially, but because it made Libby so ill, it made it vertually impossible to hop on the good foot & do the bad thing. (Which we had to do every other day, it's amazing how hard it is to have sex when it's required on demand, I'd have thought it was ever mans dream to have regular sex, it actuall became a choir) The following months proved to be fruitless, no matter how hard we tried.
After 5 months of the meds another side effect reared it's head, in the shape of a cyst, which made things even harder. Meaning we had to take a break before went for the final month, which again proved fruitless
After another appointment with our consultant, We found out that IVF was the only way forward ...& here we are!
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