It's really easy to see why fertility issues causes the meltdown of some relationships, even well before they've got to IVF stage. I've seen it happen quite a few times, & the sad thing is, one of the couple's I'm refering to both now have kids with different partners. When I heard that they had split up, I was quite critical (as usual) sayin that the had no commitment to each other or that they didn't love each other. when in fact it's the stress of it that ripped them apart
I consider my marriage to be as strong as as it can be, especially in the last year or two, things have been better that I could have ever imagined. Not that things were bad before, it's just that occasionally we were prone to taking each other for granted, & I'm not always the easiest of people to live with. But recently there has what seems to be a slight wedge between us, not in any serious kind of way, mainly because Libby is struggling with the side effects of the medication & stresses that come with it, coupled with my general inability to do anything about it. Admittedly I can make cups of tea & constantly say "don't worry, it'll be all right" & to a degree that's OK, but to me OK isn't enough. I want to be able to say it's going to be fine & be 100% sure that what i'm saying is what I mean. & that in turn stresses me out & adds to that wedge between us.
18/09/2012
I don't have much luck when it comes to public transport, Well it strikes again. Thanks to both bus & train, I made it into Sheffield twenty minutes late, giving me 10 minutes to get from one side of the city to the other. Thankfully Libby had borrowed the company car from work & was able to pick me up from the station, It just meant I had to get in it without her pulling up in a no stopping zone. I should work for Mi5 with the daredevil stunt I pulled off. Jumping in a moving car? ...EASY! (admittedly it was moving quite slow, thanks to the traffic lights) We made it to the clinic with only seconds to spare.
Annoyingly it proved to be a pointless journey. Well it always was going to be for me, because I'm surplus to requirements at the moment anyway, but I'm determined to be there as often as humanly possible. The scan that should have been taking place, now wasn't taking place, because a blood test will surfice, Ive travelled over an hour by bus, train & car, to witness something I hate & wasted a holiday day at work...AWESOME!
Taking blood from Libby is like taking blood from a stone, Both are heartless & cold! (Did i say that out aloud?) some nurses can do it with the greatest of ease, but most struggle. it's been known for blood to be extracted from her feet because her veins in her arms & hands are so hard to draw from, Today's nurse is of the struggling king & inflicted quite a bit of pain to take some red stuff. So anyway you'll find me in the waiting room, it's like watching a horror film
19/09/2012
Today is blood test results day AND... It's not good. It turns out the suprecur injections haven't been doing the job of dampening down Libby's hormones, Instead her oestrogen levels are higher than normal. So now she's got to go back tomorrow for the scan she should have had yesterday. Apparently this is quite common, but surely if it's common we should have been told about it before now. I would have preferred to have had this information instead of the biology lessons that were inflicted on us.
20/09/2012
So Libby has had to go the her scan on her own, because I couldn't get the day off work at such short notice
delays, which makes me quite irritable, Because I wanted to be there for my Wife, like a husband should.
It turns out Libby has another ovarian cyst, which is probably causing the hormone level to still be quite high.
Libby has a thing about ovarian cysts, most meds she takes seems to trigger them. So it almost seems quite normal to us. but annoyingly it might drag our treatment out a bit longer
21/09/2012
Libby's had a call from the clinic today regarding the results of the scan. She's been advised to skip the next set of drugs (Menopur) & go straight to the last one (Ovitrelle) because it should shrink the cyst, & then she can carry on as normal maybe only delaying things by about two weeks ... Fingers crossed
The Ovitrelle needle is quite odd looking, it looks a little like one of those pens with interchangable inks, it's quite a large syringe, but with a smallish needle & a button instead of a plunger.
<sometime later>
So far we've had nausia, dizziness, aches & pains, tears, hugs, tea & sympathy & for now I now have a comatose wife. She's watching Hollyoaks on TV, but with her eyes closed, (which I find the best way to watch soap opera's & without sound too) but she's not asleep... Honest
I've also plucked up the courage to voice my concerns about the aforementioned 'wedge' between us, but also reassured ourselves that we'll get through it because we know it's there, We know why it's there & we know it'll go away once things calm down
& if it gets too much, we can stop the treatment, because our relationship will always come first. As much as this is important to us, it isn't the be all & end all
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